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Taken out of both cultural and situational context, this tragic collision of norms points to a vast cultural gap. He was being asked to “ chele sa” (eat my tongue) as was the way grandparents expressed to small children, “That’s it - all I have left to give you is my tongue.” Many of the Tibetan elders who were asked to watch the video - from New York to Ladakh - did not hear a lewd request, but rather an innocent tease to a young boy. It was bewildering for them to learn that this innocuous encounter had turned the world’s opinion against the Dalai Lama. In a traditional culture that does not sexualize the tongue, they could not discern what the world found offensive in this video.

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Then by sticking out his tongue, the Dalai Lama reaches back to a gesture of play from his Tibetan traditional culture that can only be seen as bizarre for the rest of the world.īut for Tibetans from the Dalai Lama’s generation - those like my parents who had spent their formative years in an isolated Tibet - the episode was utterly free of any suspicion of abuse.

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There is also a slow-motion uncertainty as both the Dalai Lama and the boy seem not to know how to conclude this awkward performance of affection. Even though the boy and his mother have both given media interviews expressing joy in having had this encounter with the Dalai Lama, the viral video depicts an imbalance in power that leads viewers to associations with the well-known history of child abuse in many religious contexts. Seen through the norms of our hypersexualized global culture, the video of the interaction is uncomfortable to watch. He first requests a peck on the lips and then - to the shock of the world - he blithely sticks out his tongue and says in his halting English, “suck my tongue.” Then the 87-year old awkwardly makes an attempt at a jocular display of affection. While the mother feigns exasperation and the audience is amused, the Dalai Lama acquiesces with a warm embrace. Later in the program, the young boy approaches the microphone once more and requests a hug from the Dalai Lama. He proceeds to demonstrate how he and his brother once tussled with their heads. The Dalai Lama then looks up and reflects out loud that this exchange brings to mind his early childhood with his late brother Lobsang Samten - his one designated friend and playmate during an otherwise isolated childhood as a spiritual leader-in-training that began at the age of four. With his mother and grandfather seated on stage beside the Dalai Lama, the young boy first receives an affectionate bump on the forehead for formally presenting gifts on behalf of the honorary guests assembled.

The viral video was in fact a short clip from a much longer interaction that was extraordinary for very different reasons. Overnight, defamatory headlines appeared in respected publications world-wide and public slander exploded online with allegations of sexual abuse. A month and a half later, a selectively edited video surfaced online accompanied by salacious text that created the impression of sexual impropriety. The televised event took place on stage in Dharmasala on February 28th. With little heed to due diligence, media organizations pounced on an opportunity to cast an incriminating spotlight on an awkward public encounter with a young boy in India. Yet recently, along with Tibetans around the world, I felt an urgent need to speak up on the Dalai Lama’s behalf as the global media rushed to publish sensational headlines suggesting indecent behavior.

Even now in his twilight years, he continues to spread his message of compassion and kindness every passing day. He has lived his entire life in the public eye as a hardworking global champion of peace and nonviolence. Ever since he led the Tibetan people as a 24 year old through the shattering crisis of China’s invasion of Tibet, he has been one of the world’s most enduring symbols of moral leadership. Until recent weeks, the thought of having to defend the moral character of the Dalai Lama would have seemed absurd.